Vincent writes about her experience as a man approaching women. She explains the hardships she faced when approaching women and the hurt of being rejected at first sight. Why do women tend to reject guys more often than not?
Men biologically tend to pursue as many women as possible. As a result, one woman may see multiple men attempting to pursue her. To counter this male instinct, women are biologically select out men based on certain characteristics. These characteristics could be physical, mental, and/or emotional. One woman tells Ned in this chapter, that his physical size makes him ineligible for her. This selection instinct of women could be a result of biological causes that are seen in most living organisms.
Do you believe women see guys as a group stereotyped group, or as each unique individual? Explain.
Females accompany stereotypes with most first impressions of men. These stereotypes are used as a defense mechanism against men. The most common stereotype addressed by Vincent and in the minds of women is, “Men only want one thing.” While some women judge men as a group at first, others hold their judgments back and give men a chance. These lucky men normally have certain characteristics that appeal to the women they approach, and have “earned” their right of passage.
After experiencing dating as a man, Norah says she has come to understand why men rape women. What do you believe Norah’s reasoning is behind this?
After seeing dating through a man’s eyes, Norah feels almost powerless compared to the power she held in the dating scene as a woman. Vincent was used to having control as a woman over relationships, and after losing her control as a man, she felt the need to regain control. Norah believes that men always are feeling this sense of repression and also look for a way to gain power and control. She believes that rape is one example of how some men choose to get a sense of power and control over women.
After revealing her gender secret to Sasha in the bedroom, she continued to go to bed with her. Why do you believe Sasha chose to do this?
Norah asks herself in this chapter, “Is an attraction real if it is attached to something illusory or something that doesn’t exist?” She believes that women such as Sasha became attached to the emotional level of the relationship while the sexual level came second. Women who continued to go to bed with Norah experienced such a strong connection with her that the lack of physical features didn’t matter. For guys on the other hand, the sexual level of a relationship is held to a greater importance. For most guys, physical characteristics are cherished. This sense could justify the common stereotype of guys only want one thing, and that girls want something more out of a relationship.
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