Blurb

Every morning for a year and a half of her life, independent journalist and up-and-coming author Norah Vincent applied a five o’clock shadow, donned wired-rimmed glasses, and dressed in baggy men’s clothes posing as creative male alter-ego “Ned”. With her newfound identity Vincent immerses herself in the culture of the male world—frequenting strip clubs, joining a male bowling league, and temporarily living in a monastery—all while gaining keen insight and perspective on the rigid codes and rituals of gender identity. In the refreshingly honest and deeply inquisitive Self-Made Man: One Woman’s Journey into Manhood and Back Again, Vincent [will have readers] “taking a riveting and richly illuminating journey into some of their own deepest truths”(Bruce Bawer, author of While Europe Slept).

Chapter 8: Summarizer - Sarah Tyrrell

Chapter 8 consisted of Vincent summing up all her experiences and putting them together to show us what she learned. It also consisted of Vincent six-month stay in a mental hospital so she could recover from all her experiences and Ned and successfully beome Norah again. Vincent's time as Ned made the change back to womanhood so difficult because, as Ned, people's expectations changed, causing Norah/Ned to change along with them.

Chapters 7 and 8--Journal Prompt

Going into chapter seven, Vincent was confident about her next step in life as Ned. She decided to attend all male therapy groups which would ultimately lead to a retreat outing in the woods. In the beginning, Vincent assumes that this will be just like any other experience she had already endured; she had no idea that this experience would lead her into a passively suicidal state and cause visions of self-injury. The reader could assume that something more traumatic was going to happen in these last two chapters entitled “Self” and “Journey’s End”, respectively. Also, in chapter 1 Vincent states “I can say with relative surety that in the end I paid a higher emotional price for my circumstantial deceptions than any of my subjects did.” This quote straight out implies that the ending events Ned experienced were emotionally charged and unhealthy with that respect. I think the most important aspect of this that Vincent, indirectly implies, is that one can only fake and deceive society for so long; in the end, it will all catch up to and hurt you more then you could have ever hurt anyone else.

Chapters seven and eight sum up Vincent’s experiment with an in-depth reflection on manhood in modern day society. What she also includes are her conclusions; she reveals that she was prejudice towards men prior to the event and thought that her journey as a man would be liberating. Instead, it proved how conflicted and painful it can be. I found this to be an unexpected twist ending, as I was expecting more of an angry-feminist-smash-patriarchy-at-all-costs approach. Alternatively, she expresses sympathy towards males and hopes that men get the chance at a revolution in the same way women have. Norah Vincent truly reinforced my beliefs that feminism is about equal rights, not superiority of a one gender. She has done her small part in deconstructing gender binaries by attempting to eliminate stereotypes and preconceived notions by commanding a project that really resonates within readers—both males and females.

Throughout the last few chapters, Vincent hasn't really presented any new ideas in the book. She consistently mentions the differences in sexes, puts a lot of focus on sex itself, and always applies her experiences to how men fit into society. Vincent has showed us how men deal with feelings and how they many times feel victimized by society. This can help women and even men learn how to deal with each other in an easier fashion, like how to talk to one another and deal with men's feelings. Some of the actions in chapter seven to be a bit extreme, like the forced hugging and "rituals" the men went through. No one is denying the fact that men also have feelings, but some of the ways they chose to express them seemed slightly outrageous and unbelievable. The first paragraph of chapter seven was a great way to introduce the activities and experiences that happen within the chapter. By introducing Robert Bly right from the start, it allowed Vincent to refer back to him multiple times throughout the chapter and give multiple examples of his philosophies occurring within the group. We would have like to see Vincent address more about the journey into becoming a man. The journey into manhood is one of the key issues of a male’s life. She does briefly touch on this in the beginning of chapter seven, but the focus slowly trails away.

In the final chapter, Vincent includes a great amount of information on how living as a man changed her life. We believe that this information better suited the last chapter on “Self”. Including this information in chapter seven instead of chapter eight would have gave a better understanding about how males understand themselves in comparison to a female perspective. Including this information in chapter seven could have allowed Vincent to end the book on that chapter. This ending would have challenged the reader to tie all the information together and interpret the book in a manner in which they choose.

Chapter 8- Vocabulary Builder- Casey Mesner

Mealymouthed (pg 286): avoiding the use of direct and plain language, as from timidity, excessive delicacy, or hypocrisy; inclined to mince words; insincere, devious, or compromising.

Exonerate (pg 286): to relieve, as from an obligation, duty, or task.

Trite (pg 284): lacking in freshness or effectiveness because of constant use or excessive repetition; hackneyed; stale.

Catharsis (pg 278): psychotherapy that encourages or permits the discharge of pent-up, socially unacceptable affects.

Puerile (pg 278): childishly foolish; immature or trivial.

Baroquely (pg 277): extravagantly ornate, florid, and convoluted in character or style.

Effeminate (pg 276): (of a man or boy) having traits, tastes, habits, etc., traditionally considered feminine, as softness or delicacy.

Terseness (pg 275): neatly or effectively concise; brief and pithy, as language.

Curtailed (pg 275): to cut short; cut off a part of; abridge; reduce; diminish.

Screed (pg 274): a long discourse or essay, especially a diatribe.

Chapter 8 Discussion Leader - Erik Maanum

Norah brings up the topic of manhood in this final chapter. Do you believe men are held to the standards of manhood by society?

Yes, men are held to a social standard of manhood. This standard is the base of male identities. Guys are biologically programed to be competitive. This sense of manhood drives guys to compete and be the manliest man they can be. This is seen through the actions of those who oppress less manly men. Manhood is associated with dominance in the world of men.

Norah makes the comment in this chapter, that most guys are homophobic. Would you agree with her argument? Explain.

We believe most men are homophobic. Homophobia has multiple senses; some people interpret homophobia as fear of homosexuals, while others may see it as fear of being considered a homosexual. We believe not many men fear homosexuality around them. More men are homophobic in the sense that they fear being interpreted by others as a homosexual. This fear is associated with their manhood. Men believe if they are thought of as a homosexual, then they lose some of their credited “manliness”.

Why do you believe this gender experiment was so mentally taxying for Norah?

While the physical aspects were challenging for Norah, the mental aspects were much harsher. Norah explains that it took up six months to feel comfortable as a woman once again after her experiment. While living as a man, Norah completely changed her behavior, which caused people’s expectations of her to change. This behavioral change caused Norah to lose her sense of female identity. With a loss of identity follows a loss of self-worth.

How do you believe that this experiment would be different if it were conducted by a male living as a female alter-ego?

For a guy, it would be a lot harder to disguise as the opposite sex. It is tougher for a man to act as a woman in general. Men would not be able to get into the mindset of a woman to the extent to fool the outside world of their gender. They wouldn’t be able to adapt to the female lifestyle. Like Norah said, “The girls can borrow from the boys”. She means females have the capabilities to have stereotypical male characteristics. Females can wear guy’s cloths and be accepted, while men wearing women’s cloths would not. We believe that the experiment would be much more challenging for a guy, and would most likely fail at some point.

Chapter 8 Graphic Organizer--Anna Soldner

Chapter eight concludes Vincent’s journey as Ned as she culminates her experience and summarizes her discoveries. She ultimately came to the realization that being a man was more difficult than she originally thought. Admittedly, she entered the experiment with prejudice towards men and their inherent male privilege, but learned that manhood came along with rigid, stifled emotions, suffocating rules, “unrealistic, limiting, infuriating, and depressing” expectations. For these reasons she leaves the project with a disconcerting lump in her throat—that a lot of men are in pain and face unresolved issues and consequently gains a newfound appreciation, love and pride for being a woman. The chart demonstrates the advantages and disadvantages of society’s modern notion of “manhood” as expressed in the chapter. According to Vincent, the right side clearly outweighs the left, showing how society has implicitly crippled men and caused them to carry a lot of emotional baggage and stress.

Chapter 7 Vocabulary Builder--Anna

Flaccid (pg. 232): soft and limp; not firm; flabby
Adulation (pg. 235): to show excessive admiration or devotion to
Effigy (pg. 236): a crude representation of someone disliked, used for purposes of ridicule.
Abstraction A(pg 237): an abstract or general idea or term.
Repugnant (pg 241): distasteful, objectionable, or offensive
Amenable (pg 245): ready or willing to answer, act, agree, or yield; open to influence, persuasion, or advice; agreeable
Insipid (pg 250): without distinctive, interesting, or stimulating qualities
Inveterate (pg 259): firmly established by long continuance, as a disease, habit, practice, feeling, etc
Travesty (pg 262): a farcical or grotesque imitation; mockery; parody
Untenable (pg 269): incapable of being defended

Chapter 7-Discussion Leader-Casey Mesner

Do you think that men suffer from more unseen mental breakdowns? Is this caused by the added pressure from society to conceal their emotions?
---We agreed that men often suffer from emotional issues that go unseen to the rest of society. We think this is generally because men and women have different ways of expression that are socially acceptable. It is more common to see men in anger, because that shows that they are tough and passionate; however when a women expresses anger, she is seen as rude, or mean. Also, women are more open to cry and they often feel the need to express their emotions to friends, where men feel as though their emotions are their own business and they do not need to be shared.

On page 256 Vincent talks about certain body types that often fall under stereotypes. Do you think that the over-generalization of these body types play a role in a person's psyche and ultimately construct their identity?
---Certain body types are recognized throughout society to have a certain significance. For instance, a tall male should be a basketball player and a small female should be a gymnast. Much times when a person has a certain body type and doesn't fulfill the stereotype society has for them, many are often confused and don't understand why they wouldn't use thier body structure to their advantage. However, this could be a negative effect for the individual. A skinny boy that does not engage in sports is often seen as a nerd. Expectations like these can often hurt a child's ego; however those feelings are what makes up a person's identity.

In referance to the Bly quote on page 241, do you agree that boys need a second birth into manhood? Why doesn't he mention that girls need a second birth to become women?
---We do not beleive that there is any difference in the way boys and girls enter adulthood. We do not agree that anyone has to go through a second birth to reach maturity. Bly probably fails to mention gilrs because from society's perspective, girls are already born with the intuition. It is natural for them to be care-givers and nurture others. In contrast, Bly feels as though boys need to learn the correct way to be a man before actually becoming one.

On page 234 Vincent notes that a memeber of Ned's therapy group said that it was a feat just to realize he had feelings. Do you think this is a common concept for all men, or was this just the minority group she was meeting with?
---Although men do not express their emotions as easily, or obviously, as women, this man was part of a minority that had psychological problems preventing him from expressing his emotions in a healthy way. This man probably had so much built up aggression inside him that he kept disregarding, so throughout time he completly forgot what it was like to feel something.

Chapter 7 Graphic Organizer - Erik Maanum

In chapter seven, Vincent attempts to discover and describe how gender affects one's self-being. She uses the example of the Grimm tale "Iron John" which describes a young man or boy's journey to claim his manhood and earn the right of becoming a man. Norah believes that the quest for a boy to earn and claim their manhood is the main part of a males life, and is what every male claims as who they are (their "self"). Claiming this manhood is the key to unlocking the "Man" status that every boy strives to earn.

Chapters 5 and 6 Journal Prompt

An ideal audience for this book could be women who are trying to learn more about the mysteries behind manhood. However, the audience could also include younger men who are having trouble fitting in or adapting the proverbial “brotherhood.” Vincent not only completely submerges herself in the male world but she finds male “companions” who are willing to accept her and teach her the male ways without them knowing that she’s actually a women. We not only see Vincent’s experiences as Ned, but we also observe how the men interact and help each other. Vincent creates memorable characters by generating dramatic scenes and finding people who are very extreme, like Ivan in chapter six. She doesn’t describe everyone she sees around her, but rather highlights the characters with whom she forms the closest bonds.

Norah’s choice to join a monastery in this chapter on “Life” was surprising. By only documenting the life of men in a religious, chaste monastery, Vincent only captured a small percentage of men. Despite her choice, Norah still did a good job relating this rare and secret lifestyle to the lives of men outside of the monastery. We believe that Norah’s choice to work for “Red Bull” companies was a great way to depict how gender affects the workforce. It was clear while working in the “Red Bull” atmosphere that gender played a key role in the job motives and practices. We were glad to read that Norah pointed out her attempt at selling door-to-door with a mixed gender group. While addressing this experience, Norah made it clear that the female salesperson had power with her gender and sexuality that Norah as “Ned” lacked.

To be honest, Vincent didn’t know what she was getting herself into when she visited the monastery or applied to be a sales representative. She took a leap of faith—and it was daunting—but as Ned, she adopted a confident, superior attitude. Although she states that she never truly felt comfortable, she faked it, feigning swagger and charm—which therefore made herself a more credible and authoritative source. In chapter 5 entitled “Life” she is highly inquisitive towards the monks, probing for hidden secrets and emotions and questioning her surroundings; but in chapter 6, “Work”, her tone transfers from curiosity to confidence, as she always seems to rehash situations and assess characters’ motives with self- assurance.

Vincent hit most, if not all, of the main aspects in one’s life, however, I think it would have been helpful if she had talked about everyday situations that more people can relate. Vincent placed herself in rather extreme situations which only a minority of men would actually experience. Although it made sense to show the extreme events in one’s life so the audience can read in between the lines, it would also have been helpful for the women readers to see what an average day for a man would have been like. Vincent provided an alternative perspective in addition to the numerous studies sociologists and psychologists have conducted surrounding this topic. We have covered a few readings in class (exploring the views of both men and women and society’s depiction of each gender’s certain roles) which can certainly be paralleled to Norah’s findings.

Chapter 6 Vocabulary Builder - Erik Maanum

Regalia (pg 185): special and/or important clothing

Literati (pg 185): the educated class

Magnanimous (pg 188): showing or suggesting nobility

Innuendo (pg 189): an illusion

Ameliorations (pg 190): attempts to make better or more tolerable

Coquettishly (pg 191): to act as a woman who endeavors without sincere affection to gain the attention and admiration of men

Competent (pg 192): having requisite or adequate ability or qualities

Epitome (pg 194): the typical or ideal example

Unctuous (pg 194): to have a plastic or fake appearance

Onomatopoeic (pg 197): the naming of a thing or action by a vocal imitation of the sound associated with it

Chapter 6 Summary-Anna

Chapter six marks Ned’s venture into the world of sales, a world invariably dominated by men. He starts an entry-level job selling books door-to-door for a company by the name of Red Bull, meets important characters such as Ivan, learns how to become a successful bullshitter, and learns the ropes of manhood in the work place, specifically in the business world.

Most of the book is written from Vincent’s view, with an unavoidable yet distinct bias; but her singular point of view was especially noticeable in this chapter. Vincent manages to create a funny and compelling story of becoming a greasy salesman while questioning the ethics and practices of the employees and company. I noted that she would pull one quote from a character, and then write a few pages furthering her point (for example the interviewers and the ending quote from his boss). This isn’t necessarily wrong, but it definitely creates a distinct spin on the situations. In short, she tells more than she actually shows, causing some to interpret the stories as biased or an incomplete or inaccurate depiction of the real events.

Chapter 6- Summarizer- Casey Mesner

Chapter six, “Work”, focuses on Vincent going out to find a job. She wants to find a job that requires minimum background checks and no specific education. She chooses this type of job so she can gain the overall experience of a man that lives from pay check to pay check. Vincent decides on a job which involves going door to door selling merchandise for 7 hours a day.


Vincent’s tone drastically changes from the beginning to the end of this chapter. She starts out as the shy, reluctant new guy then transforms into a confidant, established salesman. She mentioned that she learned a lot of tricks during this experience which she still reflects back on to this day. Vincent says that she can still hear Ned in the back of her head pushing and guiding her through life. Although on page 216 she says that Ned’s voice “lingers irritatedly”, I believe, whether she realizes or admits to this or not, that Ned has actually become an alter-ego for Norah.

Chapter 6: Discussion Leader - Sarah Tyrrell

1. Why do you think that the Red Bull Companies were mostly a male environment? Like Ivan said, they were going to use the sexuality of the woman to sell some of the booklets, so don’t you think that more women would thrive in this job?

I believe women would thrive in this job, but they choose not to work there because they have so many other options for better jobs. I don’t know many girls who would want to be outside all day for 8 hours going door to door alone selling books. I agree that women could have used their sexuality to help enforce sales; however I think that most women don’t want to openly objectify themselves like that. Also, most women probably wouldn’t settle for a job that included walking door to door for 7 hours; they would much rather be a waitress or something like that.

2. On pg. 196, Vincent is describing Ivan: “Like him, a lot of the people who excelled at the Red Bull companies had played competitive sports. Davis, the second in command at Clutch, had been a college basketball big shot who had never made it to the pros.” Why do you think these types of men excelled in this job environment?

I think that athletic guys excel in the company, because in their sports they are always striving to be the best. I think that drive carries over into their work. It appears as though these men run off of pride and accomplishment. Also, the arrogance they carry with them makes them come off as confident and successful.

3. On pg. 213, Vincent gives a list of how men and women both pitch. Who do you think has the greater advantage?

Based on the descriptions, I believe men have an advantage. Vincent describes how women pitch as in a flirty manner. How this may work on guys, women don’t fall into their own gender trap. Plus coming from a guy if the woman isn’t attractive, but the opposite, then that plan will backfire. I think the guy’s technique of pitching will work more often through their art with words and tricks. I think they both have a certain advantage when they are selling to a particular person. For instance, women can probably use their sexuality as an advantage when selling to a man, but the same scheme might not work on a women. In contrast, men could appear confident and sincere when selling to a woman, but they may appear cocky to another man.

4. On pg. 224, Vincent says, “If they don’t know what sex you are, they literally don’t know how to treat you.” Why do you think this is?

People treat other people differently based on sex; it’s just how society is. If you don’t know what sex someone is, then a conversation with that person would probably be awkward. The person talking to the other person of the mysterious gender is probably not fully focused in on the conversation, and just trying to figure out what gender the other person is. I completely agree with this statement because I’ve been in this situation before. You don’t necessarily treat the person any different but you approach differently. With women you want to be more sympathetic but with men you wouldn’t necessarily have to worry too much about saying the wrong thing and hurting their feelings.

Chapter 5 Summarizer - Erik Maanum

In chapter 5, Norah continues taking readers through her journey of experiencing life how any common women couldn’t even imagine. In this chapter, Norah attempts to experience life as a man where no woman is allowed to even enter. To do so, Norah enters a Catholic monk monastery and takes a temporary oath to the church. While living in the monastery, Norah realizes life as a monk isn’t what she believed it would have been. She comes to find out while living among the monks, that they aren’t to different then the guys she’s been around before. Norah finds that these monks are only common men brought together by their religion. Norah is surprised to discover the major tension throughout the population, causing some of the monks to barely tolerate living together. She manages to make some minor connections with the other monks during her time of residency. Although these connections aren’t strong, Norah is still able to share with the monks some personal information, and communicate with them on a level that further teaches her about the way of life in the monastery. Norah learns that sadness is a common trend within the minds of these monks. After communicating to multiple monks and mistakenly causing the other monks to believe she is a gay man (gay men being looked down upon within the church), Norah finally reveals her secret to some of the monks. By revealing her secret, Norah gains greater acceptance in the minds of the monks, despite breaking the gender code.

Norah starts this chapter by explaining her choice of a Christian Monastery. This chapter of the book seemed unnecessarily long. Vincent included a great amount of information about a large amount of monks. Each monk’s story seemed to be very repetitive and cover many common themes. Vincent focused this chapter mostly on the drama amongst the monk population including relationship and sexual tensions.I was surprised to see that Norah didn't discuss much on religion. This may have been a way to make these monk men seem more ordinary.

Chapter 5 Discussion Leader--Anna Soldner

1.)Based on her observations, what does Vincent emphasize about the monastery? What doesn't she emphasize?
This is an important question to ask because Vincent not only conveys her message and discoveries by what she says, but also by what she leaves out. She seems to deemphasize the obvious religious aspects of the visit. She doesn't question the monks on their faith or vows, but instead expresses strong curiosity about their personal and sex lives. Critics question her motives because she seems to delve off into her own interests and agenda. Instead of inquiring how faith influences their decisions, she asks how faith influence their decisions about sexuality. So why is sexuality primary on her radar? It's safe to guess that she was driven by a quest to reveal the hidden truths behind religious communities, a drive to push the journalism boundaries and dig deeply into the psyches of the monks. Sexuality was probably her main concern because the book is centralized around ideas of gender and sexual identity.

2.)Why do you think Vincent chose to visit monks, in particular?
Vincent chose these men because despite leading monastic and chaste lifestyles, they were "pretty typical guys" (p.132). She states that the monastery was the least intimidating venue in which she could "observe men living together in close quarters without women" (p. 132). For more practical reasons, the monastery was safer than a jail, easier than the military and was exempt from physical examinations and background checks. She made a conscious effort to visit the extreme opposite of the spectrum from the sex clubs, visiting someplace where sexual desires are suppressed and ignored.

3.) After leaving the abbey Vincent states, "you can take the man out of his element, but you cannot very often take the element out of the man"(page 181). What does she mean by this? Can this idea also be applied to women?
Vincent enters the monastery and views the monk's world as an outsider. She probably arrived thinking that the men were strangely devout--maybe even robotic. "I expected to find a breed concerned primarily with spiritual matters, a place where on'es style or quantity of manhood was irrelevant...where locker room fears of homosexuality would be so far beneath the radar as to be inconceivable" (pg. 181). But when he arrived, she finds the men to be surprisingly normal. Page 132 states, "They may have been monks living under vows of chastity, but they were pretty typical guys."
Later in her stay she unravels that aside from having serious troubles expressing emotion, these men are--for lack of a better term--sexually frustrated. The monks didn't openly speak of sexuality and suppressed any unchaste desires. She also notices that the monks weren't willing to give or receive physical contact and bonding and fearful of being perceived as homosexual ("I found a community steeped in commonplace masculine angst" pg. 181).
For the most part, the idea that human beings inherently act according to their biological and genetic makeup regardless of setting is true for most all genders. However, women tend to be more emotional and show feelings better, so they would probably be more adaptive to their surroundings in that sense and less likely to suffer in a silence of hurt and dysfunction like the monks.

4.) Why does society perpetuate the idea that "real men don't cry"?
In our society "being a man" and showing emotions are two mutually exclusive notions. Sure, men can tear up, but if he burst into tears after a rough day at work, he would most likely be perceived as weak, strange, or homosexual. There is significant evidence that men have more difficulty expressing emotion than women, and much of this is due to biological differences. However, statistics show that men are less encouraged to express feelings and are exposed to far less emotional encounters starting at a young age compared to women. Ultimately this idea traces back to the unavoidable gender roles perpetuated by society (that men are expected to be strong, tough, protective, hyper-masculine-even stoic). Part of the reasoning behind this is because we live in a society which very much likes things neat and organized. Unfortunately, many people believe that when genders start switching roles or blurring lines, it's too confusing and consequently fears the traditional rules of society to crumble.

Chapter 5 Graphic Organizer- Casey Mesner

Throughout chapter 5, Vincent explaines how she unconsciously displays certain acts that raise suspicion amongst the other men. Many of the strange glances she recieved resulted from the use of certain words that most men do not typically use. In one instance, she called an old man
"cute" and everyone stared at her and one man even told her that most men do not use words like that. Other instances like this occured when Vincent asked certain questions relating to the other mens feelings or regarding their personal life. She soon discovered that most of the men she was surrounded by were not at all comfortable, or even knew how to express their emotions.

Chapters 3-4 Journal Prompt

Prior to reading the book, we weren’t really sure as to how Vincent would approach the sex and love chapters. These were probably the two most difficult topics to cover because she had to decide how to establish an intimate relationship with people without revealing her true identity. In these chapters Vincent purposely goes to extreme lengths by frequenting provocative strip clubs and experimenting with same-sex relations. In a way she plants the reader in neutral ground between two opposing spectrums and leaves her to make inferences and assume perspective on each situation. As a group we established the fact that the large majority of men aren’t regular customers at strip clubs like Ned became, but becoming “a regular” was almost necessary for Vincent to totally immerse herself in a male-dominated environment on a daily basis.
Despite suggestive subject matter and graphic details, Vincent does a good job writing for a broad gender audience. In each chapter she gives examples of her experiences and breaks down each example from both a female and male’s perspective. This style of writing allows each gender to relate to Norah’s experiences while simultaneously teaching the reader about the experiences from another perspective. The tone throughout these first four chapters has stayed consistent. Vincent has used a professional tone when she analyzes her findings. In writing about her experiences, Norah tries to include specific names from key events. These names aren’t necessarily used as main characters of the book, but more as a way for readers to relate rather than just from a concept. We believe Norah reveals her true identity to the main characters as a way to enliven her experiment and also because said characters typically made a strong connection with her. These people trust Norah, and in return she trusts them to accept her hidden truth. Once learning this truth, the characters learn that gender doesn’t change a person’s character. The people who learn Norah’s secret learn that gender isn’t a rigid divider but rather a blend of both sexes.
Vincent’s ability to develop a strong rapport with each individual character is manifested through her descriptive writing. We were all a little shocked by the nature of the content in chapter three; quite frankly we were not expecting Vincent to go into such detail about her visits to the strip clubs. However, after discussing it, we discovered that this was really the only way which Vincent would be able to portray her true experience and it was very effective in deconstructing homosexual stigmas and misconceptions. We were also surprised by the fact that she kept returning to the sex clubs after detailing her disgust towards them. Again, we concluded that this was the closest thing she had to “sex” as a male; therefore she had to return in order to get the full experience and to be able to understand it well.
In contrast to the “Sex” chapter, the following chapter, "Love", was just as surprising. ” Vincent proposes the question “Is an attraction real if it is attached to something illusory or something that doesn’t exist?” This is a very powerful quote that is thoroughly supported throughout the chapter. She proclaims that [most] women are attracted to men because they are a man. However, she discovers that multiple women were able to break through this illusion and follow their true emotions. It was also interesting to find that Vincent felt sorry for men at times because she felt that women held too much power and control.
By exploring sex and love in both an emotional and biological manner, Vincent presents her readers with the fresh outlook on gender construction in our society. Both her intimacies with men and women and the second-guessing of her partners’ sexual orientations is a step in the direction towards eradicating gender inequality and discrimination. Today issues of sex, sexuality and gender being socially constructed to cultural and societal standards are alive and more relevant than ever. Rather than preaching, Vincent shows how complex gender really is, and in the end her message tells us that love, sex and gender can be uncomfortable and confusing topics, but they are extremely important and cannot be ignored.

Chapter 5 Vocabulary Builder - Sarah Tyrrell

vespers (pg 131): a religious service in the late afternoon or evening
nuance (pg 132): a subtle difference or distinction in expression, meaning, response, etc.
novitiate (pg 135): the state or period of being a novice of a religious order or congregation
tumescent (pg 136): swelling; slightly tumid
invitatory (pg 138): any of various invitations to prayer
eschewed (pg 143): to abstain or keep away from; shun; avoid
comportment (pg 144): personal bearing or conduct; demeanor; behavior

schema (pg 149): a diagram, plan, or scheme

badinage (pg 151): light, playful banter or raillery

compos mentis (pg 159): sane; mentally sound

Chapter 4: Vocab Builder - Sarah Tyrrell

1.) gregarious (93): fond of the company of others; sociable
2.) anemic (96): lacking power, vigor, vitality, or colorfulness
3.) cad (101): an ill-bred man, especially one who behaves in a dishonorable or irresponsible way toward women
4.) stolid (101): not easily stirred or moved mentally; unemotional; impassive
5.) lout (102): an awkward, stupid person; clumsy, ill-mannered boor; oaf
6.) tabulae rasae (105): a mind not yet affected by experiences, impressions, etc.
7.) hubris (105): excessive pride or self-confidence: arrogance
8.) crass (108): without refinement, delicacy, or sensitivity; gross; obtuse; stupid
9.) atrophy (121): degeneration, decline, or decrease, as from disuse
10.) polyglot (124): able to speak or write several languages; multilingual

Chapter 4 Summary-Casey Mesner

In chapter 4, Vincent explores the concept of love through the act of dating. She finds herself noticing many stereotypes which women often get trapped with. Most of these stereotypes she finds to be untrue, but a lot of them she argues are typically under examplified. Vincent does not leave much for the reader to decode; she tells it how it is. Many times throughout the chapter she explains her anger and frusterations with the women she dates and with women in general. She feels sorry for men at times because women can display so much power over men without even realizing it. Due to this, Vincent ends up switching her attitude towards each gender multiple times throughout the chapter. In the end, she balances sypmathy and hate and decides to forgive each gender for their particular flaws, because it is all a natural state of mind.

Chapter 4 Discussion Leader- Erik Maanum

Vincent writes about her experience as a man approaching women. She explains the hardships she faced when approaching women and the hurt of being rejected at first sight. Why do women tend to reject guys more often than not?

Men biologically tend to pursue as many women as possible. As a result, one woman may see multiple men attempting to pursue her. To counter this male instinct, women are biologically select out men based on certain characteristics. These characteristics could be physical, mental, and/or emotional. One woman tells Ned in this chapter, that his physical size makes him ineligible for her. This selection instinct of women could be a result of biological causes that are seen in most living organisms.

Do you believe women see guys as a group stereotyped group, or as each unique individual? Explain.

Females accompany stereotypes with most first impressions of men. These stereotypes are used as a defense mechanism against men. The most common stereotype addressed by Vincent and in the minds of women is, “Men only want one thing.” While some women judge men as a group at first, others hold their judgments back and give men a chance. These lucky men normally have certain characteristics that appeal to the women they approach, and have “earned” their right of passage.

After experiencing dating as a man, Norah says she has come to understand why men rape women. What do you believe Norah’s reasoning is behind this?

After seeing dating through a man’s eyes, Norah feels almost powerless compared to the power she held in the dating scene as a woman. Vincent was used to having control as a woman over relationships, and after losing her control as a man, she felt the need to regain control. Norah believes that men always are feeling this sense of repression and also look for a way to gain power and control. She believes that rape is one example of how some men choose to get a sense of power and control over women.

After revealing her gender secret to Sasha in the bedroom, she continued to go to bed with her. Why do you believe Sasha chose to do this?

Norah asks herself in this chapter, “Is an attraction real if it is attached to something illusory or something that doesn’t exist?” She believes that women such as Sasha became attached to the emotional level of the relationship while the sexual level came second. Women who continued to go to bed with Norah experienced such a strong connection with her that the lack of physical features didn’t matter. For guys on the other hand, the sexual level of a relationship is held to a greater importance. For most guys, physical characteristics are cherished. This sense could justify the common stereotype of guys only want one thing, and that girls want something more out of a relationship.

Chapter 4 Graphic Organizer--Anna Soldner

Throughout the course of chapter four, Vincent ventures into the tangled, confusing world of love and dating. She faces rejection, unfair stereotyping, pressuring expectations, and heavy burdens and generally finds dating to be significantly more difficult as a man. The chapter opens with Vincent pursing women (as a man) at a bar only to be coldly rejected.
Page 107 states, “The women who were hostile to me made me mad, and that made me want to be hostile to them…so the self-perpetuating cycle of unkindness and discontent would go on and on, feeding on itself. These women were mostly hostile in the first place because they felt that a man’s bad behavior had made them so, and the men they met behaved badly because hostility breeds contempt.” Her ideas are represented in the cycle above; dating is the central idea, surrounded by actions which continue the cycle, i.e. women’s initial hostility, men’s behavior and resulting attitudes, and rejection and discontent, with can be viewed both as a result and or cause of the incompatibility and sexual frustration between genders.

Chapter 3 Vocabulary Builder--Anna

insouciance (pg 63): lighthearted concern; nonchalance
preponderance (pg 66): superiority or excess in number or quantity; majority
squalid (pg 67): morally repulsive
recluses (pg 75): a person who lives in seclusion often in solitude
tawdry (pg 77): showy but cheap and of poor quality;tasteless
miasma (pg 80): unwholesome or oppressive atmosphere
ovoid (pg 81): egg-shaped
copacetic (pg 87): fine; ok
titillation (pg 87): excitement, arousal
vehemence (pg 91): eagerness; fervency

Chapter 3 Graphic Organizer - Erik Maanum

Norah uses strip clubs to help her unravel the secrets of male sex lives. She explains that the men who go to these clubs are there, because they are either insecure or not content with the sex lives. Norah describes these sex clubs as giving men a fake sense of sexual stimulation. This sense keeps men coming back for a “quick fix” for this stimulation, despite knowing the fake reality taking place. After leaving the club, the happiness associated with their sexual stimulation quickly fades. Once again, these men realize their discontent and return to the strip club. Strip clubs become an addiction to some men, and with each return to the club, the excitement and high associated with the club decreases.

Chapter 3 Summary - Sarah Tyrrell

Chapter 3 featured Norah/Ned looking into the sexual aspect of being a man, in which she attended multiple strip clubs. This chapter was quite explicit with graphic descriptions of the physical appearances of the girls and descriptions of the performances on stage and with men they are with. In one section, Vincent described the girls as not hiding their hatred for the customers and not having any emotion in their eyes, like they're dead inside.While at the club, Vincent felt some of the humilitation that the girls at the club feel everyday by seeing how they perform, the men's reactions to them, and by seeing how unappreciated these woman are. At the end of the chapter, we feel a little more sympathy for the woman working at the club when Phil says, "...these girls were somebody's daughter. Somebody put them to bed. Somebody kissed them and hugged them and gave them love and now they're in this pit" (91).

Vincent gives a lot of descriptive images in this chapter, from what's going on in the club to the kind of people in the club. When describing the male urges to go to strip clubs and see performances like that, Vincent often described their needs to be there as not wanting to be "a dirty, senseless animal wihsomeone you love or respect or are capable of loving and respecting" (79). Vincent wasn't afraid to use crude language when describing some of the actions in the club or the people. I think she may have used this kind of language to make the scenarios and people seem more raw and real, and to really give us a true idea of what was going on and possibly how men were thinking. Towards the end of the chapter, she tried to make the language a little softer, possible as an easier transition into the love chapter.

Chapter 3 Discussion Leader-Casey Mesner

1. On page 67 Vincent mentions that many relationships fall apart because they can't "solve the conflict between baseline male sexuality and the civilized role of a man." What is society's view of a civilized man and is it comparable to what men actually are like?
---Society's view of a civilized man is one that keeps his sex life as private as possible. We all think that men are typically like this with the exception of the few who Vincent met at the strip clubs. We felt that Vincent was trying to illustrate how men can be to a certain extreme, however she left us to believe that that is just a small minority of men so we are left to make our own assumptions about the rest.

2. While receiving a dance from one of the girls, Vincent notes that it lacked all emotion, seduction, imagination and mental connections, all the things that make up the female sexuality (77). Do men need to have these certain characteristics to complete there sexuality or was it the given nature of the environment which cuased the dance to lack these components?
---We beleive that it was just the environment that caused the dances to lack all emotion. Many times in this chapter Vincent mentions that all of the girls appear to be dead of all feeling and emotion, so this reflects intot he whole club environment. Men probably do need alot of these characteristics, however not as strongly as women do. Also, many men are not looking for any kind of connection when they enter one of these clubs.

3. On page 88 Vincent feels that all of the dancers appear to be dead inside. She says this is "because when pleasure is used up, pain is all that's left." Do you think this is why all the dancers are typically depressed? Do they realize this within themselves?
---Most of the dancers probably do not realize this, and probably do not listen when someone tries to bring it to their attention. Much of these dancers are in this situation because it was seen as a last resort and the only thing they can do to make money. Knowing this, they are probably unhappy with the type of job they have, but they are the ones that put themselves in that situation, so they might not notice how depressed it is actually making them.

4. Many times throughout this chapter Vincent bounces back and forth from feeling sympathy for the dancers, to feeling absolutly no remorse. Is she getting this feeling only because she is also a women, or is this a feeling that men typically get too?
---Vincent feels sorry for the girls because that is a situation that she would hate to be in and she sees how objectifying tghe men are to them. However, she then feels no remorse towards them because it was there fault they are where they are. As mentioned before, the men that go into these clubs are a minority and aren't thinking about the girls feelings, so they probably never think about this. However, the greater percentage of men might have some of the same feelings as women do towards this subject.

Journal Prompt #1

While chapter one was mainly meant as an introduction to whom Norah Vincent is and why she decided to take on this project, chapter two was a great way to begin her experiment. Woman often wonder what men do when they're not there and how many really act around each other, and chapter two was a great inside view into male bonding.

Within the first two chapters of Self-Made Man, I was genuinely surprised at how serious Vincent was taking the entire experiment (buying a new wardrobe, fake penis, acting lessons, voice training, makeup tutorials, etc). It all seems like a practical joke or temporary attempt at deceit until it hits you that this is almost two whole years dressing and acting not only another identity, but another gender. There are certainly situations which she describes that I can relate to, but I can't imagine the stress and mental anxiety that would come with pretending to be another person for a prolonged period of time. I wonder: if I found success passing as another gender, would I feel trapped in the wrong body? Would I start to not only deceive others but myself, too? In the final paragraphs of chapter one, Vincent explores these possibilities and powerfully declares that the mental and emotional beatings she endured throughout the process were the real consequences and that her self-inflicted strain was enough of a punishment for breaching trust and playing with deception.

In Chapters one and two, the author makes some assumptions of the reader. In chapter one, Vincent assumes her audience would benefit greatly by giving a lot of background information of her study. She also breaks down her book and explains what she intends for her audience to get out of reading her book. In chapter two, Vincent believes that her audience may not have any experience in a male only social environment, that audience probably being all females. She also shares her reactions of being in this new environment in detail to help her male audience understand her experience. These assumptions are greatly important to the success of her book, and give Vincent a lot of credibility for her study. So far the most important message given by Vincent in her book is how gender affects people socially and emotionally. This message by Vincent is really her objective for her to understand through her study and for communicating to her audience through her book. To convey her massages to her audience, Vincent really breaks each important concept by chapter, for example how Chapter two represents the social aspect of gender, and further describes important details through the use of personal experiences, such as revealing her reactions and the reactions of her bowling team after revealing her true gender.

This book was intended to be a memoir of Vincent’s experience amongst the opposite sex. Sociologists and anyone in general, that are curious about the different interactions within men and women would find this book very interesting because you get an inside look at both sides. Vincent establishes her authority because she is extremely passionate and determined to find the answers she has been longing for. Also, she makes it known that this is not a strict research study, however she is also not doing it just for laughs. She also carries a sense of humor throughout the book which makes the reader comfortable and understanding in the fact that she is a normal person too. She uses this humor to draw in her audience to better depict her experiences. Vincent also focuses on minor details which a person in everyday life might overlook. By doing this, the reader can connect to the stories and relate them back to their own personal experiences.

While bowling is an incredibly social sport, I can't help but wonder if there was some other place Vincent could have bowled at or some other sport she could have participated in. Jim, Allen, and Bob didn't exactly seem like the typical guys you meet, they seemed to be in a bit of a lower class, so I'm wondering if their actions and how they acted around each other would have been different than if Vincent found some activity to participate in with people of even the middle class or upper middle class. Men may act the same in all groups but we have to take into consideration that they may not and that the results she got may have turned out differently if she were in a different group or doing a different sport. This book is definitely about gender and gender identity, so it fits in with our new topic of gender.

Chapter 2 Vocabulary Builder - Erik Maanum

Bourgeois (pg 20): Marked by a concern for material interests and respectability and a tendency toward mediocrity

Interloper (pg 20): One that intrudes in a place

Ineptitude (pg 20): The quality or state of being incompetent

Viscerally (pg 21): To respond crudely

Proletarian (pg 24): A member of the lowest social or economic class in a community

Raconteur (pg 27): A person who excels in telling anecdotes

Stevedores (pg 28): One who works at or is responsible for loading and unloading ships in port

Ubiquity (pg 37): Ongoing presence

Traipse (pg 39): To walk

Atavistic (pg 44): A reoccurring action